The real problem with all existing tabletop RPG adaptations of the Teenae Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise is that in not one of them are your core numeric stats "Teenage", "Mutant", "Ninja" and "Turtle".
"But what about characters who aren't teenagers, mutants, ninjas and/or turtles" obviously other sorts of characters would have different but equally weirdly specific core stats, with the guiding principle that the resulting phrase must fit the same metrical rhythm as "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle". So, for example, Daredevil – who absolutely exists in the TMNT universe, and don't try to tell me otherwise – might be a Sightless Catholic Ninja Lawyer, with core stats of "Sightless", "Catholic", "Ninja" and "Lawyer".
not the twitter migrants putting "reblog heavy" in their bios on here... like yeah. that's what we do here
ALTreblog heavy
at a bar in lower manhattan and they’re playing catholic choral music. on the wall there’s a giant mural of gregorian monks on a raft
the only other people in here are talking quietly about japanese verb conjugation. there are many statues of gargoyles and gnomes
reading reviews while quietly sipping my drink. i feel like i’m in an alternate dimension. it’s called Burp Castle btw
probably goes without saying this is now my favorite bar in the world
new yorkers are so fucking spoiled it is unbelievable
the courier: Death Grips look out there’s an enemy after us
Death Grips, the lore-friendly companion: WHAT IS IT WHERE IS IT HOW IT AFFECT ME
the courier: i think it might be a deathclaw, Death Grips
Death Grips, the lore-friendly companion: FUCK THAT SHIT I NEED THAT SHIT IT’S BOUND TO BE THE DEATH OF ME
